Dear Son, Please Just Go to Sleep

Sleep training is a nightmare, and I don’t mean that in a pun-y way. Our original attempt at sleep training was at the suggestion of our pediatrician, and was a few months ago now. Enter the nightmare. You see, I am one of those mothers that can’t bear to hear my child scream, so “Cry-It-Out” often ended in tears for me too. We made it through the recommended week, and sure enough, little E started sleeping like a champ. Most of the time. Well, sometimes anyway. We got through a few nights without waking up, and when he did wake up it was usually for shorter periods and fewer times a night.

And then came the teeth. Yes, teething is another parental nightmare, especially as it relates to sleep. Suddenly we found ourselves not only back at square one, but so far beyond it that we might as well have never done the sleep training to begin with. E slept better as a newborn than he did after that first round of teething, and there were literally times I watched the sun rise before crawling into bed.

This problem has been growing worse and worse, with E starting to sleep no more than 10 minutes at a time. These “mini naps” were killing us, and my husband and I found ourselves arguing the nights away. With E’s first birthday approaching, we knew we had to do something. So I asked my trusty mommy group for recommendations, and was pointed toward something known as the Ferber Method.

Now, before there is any confusion, let me point out that the Ferber Method still involves letting your child cry-it-out. Rather than letting him scream however, one parent goes in to comfort him in slowly increasing intervals of time, as shown here:

Night 1: 3, 5, 10...10

Night 2: 5, 10, 12 ...12

Night 3: 10, 12, 15....15

Night 4: 12, 15, 17 ...17

Night 5: 15, 17, 20...20

Night 6: 17, 20, 25...25

Night 7: 20, 25, 30....30

Once you reach the longest interval that night, you wait that amount of time each additional time you have to go in to comfort your child. Don’t pick him up, and assign one parent to be “on duty” for the night so that he doesn’t get the idea that he can get something different from the other parent. When you go in, whisper comforting words and, once he’s calmed down, leave him again. Be sure to put him down drowsy. It’s best if he learns to fall asleep without you in the room, so that he doesn’t freak out when he wakes up and his environment is changed. We're having to do this a bit slowly and occasionally stay in the room, but make him stay in his crib, since he's used to falling asleep in our arms.

This is a super-super condensed version of the Ferber Method, mostly courtesy of on of the moms from my mommy group. Dr. Ferber’s Book, “Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems” can tell you much much more. I haven't read it all myself, since we started this as soon as I learned about it. All I have to say is this. So far I am a fan. Since the very first night we tried this, E has slept through the night, his longest streak ever. Tonight will be night seven. The best thing? We have never had to use the intervals past day two. After that first night, he now always goes to sleep within ten minutes. Pretty cool, huh? It’s still a work in progress, but I promise you that I am loving the sleep. We’ll be consistent with it, since we’ve had such success, and since it puts much less stress on everyone involved. I just hope that this sleep training can outlast the next round of teething…*cue ominous music*…