Bad Day in Momland

Today is just one of those days. You know, those days where you feel like you failed at everything? Yep. Definitely one of those days. You see, the internet is both good and bad, and I read an article today on helping toddlers develop speech. What did it say? Get rid of toys that light up, talk, etc... Yeah. That's not going to happen, since 98% of our toys light up, sing, talk, etc... E loves those toys, but I couldn't but feel a bit guilty for not getting him more "imagination based" toys. Feeling like a bad mom moment #1.

I am currently reading "The Happiest Toddler on the Block." I wanted some insight into this positive parenting method and, while reading about Dr. Harvey Karp's "Fast Food Rule" and "Toddler-ease," it all seemed to make sense. I really want to raise E to be emotionally healthy. I want him to understand that emotions are okay, and that there is a difference between emotions and actions. I don't want to inadvertently teach him to suppress his feelings.

So I began trying to use Dr. Karp's recommended method. Boy oh boy did it backfire. Not only did it not help, it actually made things worse. Much, much worse. I feel horrible, because I think it actually scared E once, and his lip started trembling as his screaming intensified. And then again when I had to take a drumstick (it goes with his xylaphone) away because we had to leave (and because he insists on walking with the darn thing in his mouth.) That made him MAD. When I tried to acknowledge that he was mad, he just screamed louder. And louder. And louder. I tried more emotion, I tried less emotion - nothing. worked. It took me 15 minutes to stop what would probably have been a 1 minute tantrum had I NOT tried to be clever and try something new. Feeling like a bad mom moments #2 and #3.

I may try a bit longer, but it's honestly looking like "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" is not going to work for us. In fact, it seems to have done more harm than good and my mommy guilt is in overdrive right now. Maybe it works great for some kids, but for us it seems like a waste of money.

And then there is independent play time. This is a good thing. I know. I can't help but wonder though, if I spend too much time on the computer, and too little time actually playing with E. For the most part, he seems content to play by himself, and he will come to me when he wants or needs something. I do try to read with him and we play with blocks and puzzles together quite often. I also play with his toys with him, when he'll let me. A lot of the time I feel like he's really ignoring me anyway. Still, it makes me feel guilty. I get on the computer so that I have something to do while he's busy playing, but I wonder where the balance is. I couldn't help but feel today like I wasn't spending enough time with him. Feeling like a bad mom moment #4.

Also, he ate both a hot dog and pizza today. He threw most of his veggies on the floor, ate a bit of fruit, gave his eggs to the dogs, and ended up eating fruit loops for breakfast. Feeling like a bad mom moment #5.

And now it's almost 10:00 and he's not asleep yet. Feeling like a bad mom moment #6.

Seriously...just not a good day in Momland.